Friday, November 30, 2012
Emotions..
I didn't know if I was going to blog about this because it is so personal and it has really been hard on me and I am still not sure if I want to publish this. Jamisen and I have been trying to expand our family for quite awhile now. We found out that I am currently not ovulating. The first thoughts that went through my mind when I found this out is... What does this mean? Does this mean I won't be able to become pregnant? Most of my life while growing up I never really thought that I wanted to have kids. That is until I met this amazing man and became a step parent to 2 of the most amazing little boys that there are. They filled my heart with so much more happiness than I could have ever thought possible. That is when my mind was made up that I wanted our family to grow. I never knew that I would react to this the way that I have. It has been such an emotional rollercoaster. The doctor has started me on clomid to see if that will kick start my ovulation. This last month was my 4th cycle and so far I have not ovulated once. It is seriously the worst feeling when you are a woman and your body is not doing what it was made to do. It is really hard for me to explain these feelings to my husband because of course he doesn't have the same parts as I do. I could be having the best day in the world and find myself bursting into tears. I go back to the doctor this month so we will see what he has planned next. The most frustrating thing about it all is that we cant even find anything wrong with me I have had every test possible and everything comes back normal. I am hoping and praying that we can figure this out and become pregnant in the near future. I would be ok if we knew that we couldn't have children together at all because we already have 2 of the cutest little men in our lives, but I would love to be given the opportunity to grow another human being and be so lucky to watch them grow every single day and be that full time working mom I so desire to be. It is just really hard being in limbo right now and not knowing either way. If you are reading this then I was brave and posted this and please keep us in your prayers.
Sunday, November 25, 2012
Growing up fast!
This Thanksgiving I had to work until mid-afternoon and when I pulled up to our home I saw the sweetest thing. Daddy and sons playing outside and Dad was teaching Jayden to ride his bike without training wheels. He was doing so well but was really having a hard time with stopping and turning. A few days later I decided that I would take the training wheels off of a smaller bike so that when he stopped he could reach the ground and so that he wasn't as nervous as he was on his bigger bike. This was a complete success and while dad was at work we worked on stopping and turning and starting by himself without me having to push him. He is now a professional and I am so proud of him. He is gowing up so fast I can't believe it.
On another note Jaxon is doing wonderful with the potty training. In 5 days he has only had one accident. He does still like to hide his wet undies though, this time I found them behind the toilet lol the little stinker. He has been doing so well that I started leaving him in his undies at naptime and bedtime and he has been waking up dry. We are so proud of this little man and let me tell you he is proud of himself. He is always running out of the bathroom telling everyone he peed in the big potty and showing off his new undies.
I really can not believe how fast these boys are growing. I swear it was just yesterday that I came into their lives and Jayden was still in diapers and Jaxon was 5 months old still eating baby food. Can I just tell you just how proud I am of them and that I am the happiest lady ever that I get to be and take part in there lives.
On another note Jaxon is doing wonderful with the potty training. In 5 days he has only had one accident. He does still like to hide his wet undies though, this time I found them behind the toilet lol the little stinker. He has been doing so well that I started leaving him in his undies at naptime and bedtime and he has been waking up dry. We are so proud of this little man and let me tell you he is proud of himself. He is always running out of the bathroom telling everyone he peed in the big potty and showing off his new undies.
I really can not believe how fast these boys are growing. I swear it was just yesterday that I came into their lives and Jayden was still in diapers and Jaxon was 5 months old still eating baby food. Can I just tell you just how proud I am of them and that I am the happiest lady ever that I get to be and take part in there lives.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Jaydens words and things he says...
The air conditioner. Jayden- the Air magician
q ball is- goof ball
hamburger- hangenbur
He told me that one day he is going to have a baby when he gets big. Then looks at his belly and pushes on it, then says but don't worry i'm not quishing it because I'm not big enough to have babies yet.
We were talking about taking the guts out of the turkey and he says. I need to do that by myself because I am too tough. Then goes on to tell us he pulled the "nuts" out of his pumpkin for Halloween.
He tells me his is hungry. I tell him we are almost home and I will make him something. Then out of no where he says mom there are some little people having a picnic on my heart. <<<---where does="does" get="get" he="he" lol="lol" this="this">
Don't be surprised if you see this re-posted a few time and just updated :) I will put and * sign by what is new when I do update.
q ball is- goof ball
hamburger- hangenbur
He told me that one day he is going to have a baby when he gets big. Then looks at his belly and pushes on it, then says but don't worry i'm not quishing it because I'm not big enough to have babies yet.
We were talking about taking the guts out of the turkey and he says. I need to do that by myself because I am too tough. Then goes on to tell us he pulled the "nuts" out of his pumpkin for Halloween.
He tells me his is hungry. I tell him we are almost home and I will make him something. Then out of no where he says mom there are some little people having a picnic on my heart. <<<---where does="does" get="get" he="he" lol="lol" this="this">
Don't be surprised if you see this re-posted a few time and just updated :) I will put and * sign by what is new when I do update.
Blogger Slacker
I am a complete slacker when it comes to blogging about what is going on in our lives and I admit I take the easy way out and just put everything on facebook. Well, I am trying to make that change and it seems that I forget things a lot easier these days, so I am going to try my hardest to document everything on here. Our computer that I have had for I don't know how long recently decided to not work anymore so these posts may be a little boring because I will not be able to upload any cute pictures, but hey this is for me anyways right?
UPDATE:
Jamisen and I finally tied the knot and we are loving life and each other (even when we get on each other nerves) Jayden just turned 4 this past July and just started pre-school this year. He is loving it and doing so well. We can't believe how fast he is growing. He also is the funniest kid I know. We love to hear all of his stories. The other day he told us that he learned at pre-school that if you eat healthy food it will make you "glow." I proceeded to ask him if he meant it would make you grow and he told me no mom glow. He gets smarter and smarter everytime we see him. He puts up some really good arguments also on why he should not have to go to bed and why he should be able to have candy all of the time. He is also just as bossy as ever, but we love him :) This weekend we will be taking his training wheels off of his bike. We have been asking him for some time now if he wanted them off but he never has, but now he has been insisting that he needs them off and needs to learn all by himself. This makes me so excited for him but at the same time a nervous wreck because I don't want to see him fall down. What mom does? I do realize though that he has to fall in order to learn. We are so proud of everything his is accomplishing these days.
Jaxon just turned 2 this past April and is changing like crazy. He is no longer as cuddly as he use to be which breaks my heart sometimes, but he always cuddles with me when he first wakes up in the morning and after nap time. Might I add that I am so gratefull that he will still take a nap so I can get things done in the afternoon and have some one on one time with Jayden. He still will come to me over Jamisen most of the time, but it only makes it fair because Jayden is 100% a daddy's boy. Jax is now talking up a storm and we ALL started to try to get him potty trained and it is going pretty well. This past weekend he only had 2 accidents. Funny story though one of these accidents, he comes walking into the leaving room naked, so I asked him were his undies went and he said that he went pee in the potty. Well I tell him ok go get your underwear so I can help you get them back on. I waited a few minutes and he never came back down the hall so I went to help him get them. Well, I couldn't find his undwear anywear I looked for 15 minutes and finally gave up and put new ones on him. Well, while he was down for his nap I was cleaning up my bathroom and was taking the trash out and low and behold there were his undies in the garbage can soaking wet. He had, had an accident and didn't want us to know so the little stinker threw them away. I couldn't stop laughing silly kid. He also wants to be just like his big brother he follows him around and always wants to do what he is doing it is so cute. He also is still the little chunker and loves to eat which I love. He has become so independant and his little personality has grown so much. He is also such a happy smiley tough little boy, that never cries.
Jamisen is still working at Jimmy Johns and he loves it. I am so happy that he has found a job that he loves and wants to stay at. He is the best husband I could ask for. He wakes up at the butt crack of dawn so that he can start my car so it is nice and warm and toasty in there when I leave. Even on days that he doesn't have to work untill late afternoon or on his days off. I love this man with all of my heart and soul and I would not know what I would do without him. I even love him when he drives me crazy with his over the top show of love.
Then there is Mr. Bentley. Most of you prob already know that we got a dog this year. He is a Blue nosed pitbull. He is the cutest guy and he is pretty well behaved these days. We have had many ups and downs with him let me tell you. For one potty training a puppy is really not my cup of tea but it had to be done. We got him when he was 8 weeks old and he did pretty well, but I was taking him out every 30 minutes or so but when me and Jay were working the same shifts we kind of got out of the habit and we back tracked a little. Now he is as big as can be fully potty trained unless he did something wrong and knows it. Then he will look and you and he can't control his bladder and that is a tell tale sign he did something he wasn't suppose to, but we are working on it. I have now taught him how to sit, stay, lay down, roll over and to shake. He is so amazing with the kids. Jayden calls him his. The boys jump all over him and pull his tail and he will just sit there and give them all kisses. He loves them and they love having him in the family.
Last but not least an update on myself. I seriously feel like I am the luckiest woman alive right now as cheesy as that may sound. I have so many blessings in my life. I have a job that may be boring at times but is a great job that I don't hate, the most amazing little boys, family and a place to call our own. I take a glimpse back a year ago and I see how far I have come and grown. I'm not saying that every single day this year has been rainbows and lollipops. We have had our tough times too and my grumpy moods occaionally, but hey it happens when you have to get use to being up while it is still pitch black outside. Right? But who wants to hear about the negitive because I don't. We love living in the moment and forgetting the bad and embracing the good. I'm sorry this post was so long and boring. I hope that you all have a wonderful holiday season.
UPDATE:
Jamisen and I finally tied the knot and we are loving life and each other (even when we get on each other nerves) Jayden just turned 4 this past July and just started pre-school this year. He is loving it and doing so well. We can't believe how fast he is growing. He also is the funniest kid I know. We love to hear all of his stories. The other day he told us that he learned at pre-school that if you eat healthy food it will make you "glow." I proceeded to ask him if he meant it would make you grow and he told me no mom glow. He gets smarter and smarter everytime we see him. He puts up some really good arguments also on why he should not have to go to bed and why he should be able to have candy all of the time. He is also just as bossy as ever, but we love him :) This weekend we will be taking his training wheels off of his bike. We have been asking him for some time now if he wanted them off but he never has, but now he has been insisting that he needs them off and needs to learn all by himself. This makes me so excited for him but at the same time a nervous wreck because I don't want to see him fall down. What mom does? I do realize though that he has to fall in order to learn. We are so proud of everything his is accomplishing these days.
Jaxon just turned 2 this past April and is changing like crazy. He is no longer as cuddly as he use to be which breaks my heart sometimes, but he always cuddles with me when he first wakes up in the morning and after nap time. Might I add that I am so gratefull that he will still take a nap so I can get things done in the afternoon and have some one on one time with Jayden. He still will come to me over Jamisen most of the time, but it only makes it fair because Jayden is 100% a daddy's boy. Jax is now talking up a storm and we ALL started to try to get him potty trained and it is going pretty well. This past weekend he only had 2 accidents. Funny story though one of these accidents, he comes walking into the leaving room naked, so I asked him were his undies went and he said that he went pee in the potty. Well I tell him ok go get your underwear so I can help you get them back on. I waited a few minutes and he never came back down the hall so I went to help him get them. Well, I couldn't find his undwear anywear I looked for 15 minutes and finally gave up and put new ones on him. Well, while he was down for his nap I was cleaning up my bathroom and was taking the trash out and low and behold there were his undies in the garbage can soaking wet. He had, had an accident and didn't want us to know so the little stinker threw them away. I couldn't stop laughing silly kid. He also wants to be just like his big brother he follows him around and always wants to do what he is doing it is so cute. He also is still the little chunker and loves to eat which I love. He has become so independant and his little personality has grown so much. He is also such a happy smiley tough little boy, that never cries.
Jamisen is still working at Jimmy Johns and he loves it. I am so happy that he has found a job that he loves and wants to stay at. He is the best husband I could ask for. He wakes up at the butt crack of dawn so that he can start my car so it is nice and warm and toasty in there when I leave. Even on days that he doesn't have to work untill late afternoon or on his days off. I love this man with all of my heart and soul and I would not know what I would do without him. I even love him when he drives me crazy with his over the top show of love.
Then there is Mr. Bentley. Most of you prob already know that we got a dog this year. He is a Blue nosed pitbull. He is the cutest guy and he is pretty well behaved these days. We have had many ups and downs with him let me tell you. For one potty training a puppy is really not my cup of tea but it had to be done. We got him when he was 8 weeks old and he did pretty well, but I was taking him out every 30 minutes or so but when me and Jay were working the same shifts we kind of got out of the habit and we back tracked a little. Now he is as big as can be fully potty trained unless he did something wrong and knows it. Then he will look and you and he can't control his bladder and that is a tell tale sign he did something he wasn't suppose to, but we are working on it. I have now taught him how to sit, stay, lay down, roll over and to shake. He is so amazing with the kids. Jayden calls him his. The boys jump all over him and pull his tail and he will just sit there and give them all kisses. He loves them and they love having him in the family.
Last but not least an update on myself. I seriously feel like I am the luckiest woman alive right now as cheesy as that may sound. I have so many blessings in my life. I have a job that may be boring at times but is a great job that I don't hate, the most amazing little boys, family and a place to call our own. I take a glimpse back a year ago and I see how far I have come and grown. I'm not saying that every single day this year has been rainbows and lollipops. We have had our tough times too and my grumpy moods occaionally, but hey it happens when you have to get use to being up while it is still pitch black outside. Right? But who wants to hear about the negitive because I don't. We love living in the moment and forgetting the bad and embracing the good. I'm sorry this post was so long and boring. I hope that you all have a wonderful holiday season.
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